The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace:  Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People by Gary Chapman and Paul White           AudioBook:  6 hours     Paperback Book:  256 pages             

Excellent book on learning each staff members' and bosses' preferred ways to be acknowledged for a job well done.   Not everyone responds the same way to various types of praise.    Some introverted types prefer something personal and not flashy, a personal verbal thanks, a gift to express appreciation.   Extroverts like a lot of hype and for everyone to know they did something good like an award given at an event with all of their coworkers attending where everyone gets to join in their "show" and fun.   For some just a word  of thanks, a sincere pat on the back is fine.  Not everyone requires the same type of treatment and this book tells you how to find out via short quizzes what your style is, as well as that of your colleagues.     It can make for a happier work environment because once the real you is understood,  appreciation and kudos can be given appropriately so you can feel like you shine in stead of being embarrassed or stressed or worse yet that your coworkers/boss don't even get you because they gave you tickets to a sporting event when you could care less about such things when they clearly have heard you talking about your love for film over the years or fine dining or travel.   A good insight into really seeing the other person and recognizing them in meaningful ways.   Excellent book.    I recommend this to everyone because even children will grow up and have to find their niche in the workplace this will give everyone a heads up on not going for a cookie cutter non-involved approach which leaves the other person feeling you don't even know nor care if they exist.   Shows just making a gesture from the mouth out shows.   But a gesture from the heart takes the time to find out who the person is, what they like then matching good deeds with good will to make that person feel you honestly do care and want to express deep appreciation in a meaningful way.   

 - Shirley J

No Hard Feelings; The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work

No Hard Feelings; The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work by Liz Fosslien  304 pages

This book takes a visual approach to explaining how you can embrace emotion at work and become a happier, more fulfilled person at work (and outside of work, too).  The authors take a deeply researched look at how emotions affect our professional lives and how we can navigate our emotions at work.  For example, "Real, valuable feedback is not going to feel like a gift. Realize that negative feedback often means the criticizer cares about helping you improve and is willing to bear the awkwardness of a difficult conversation."

I started reading this book and quickly realized this is something where I want to buy a copy for myself and then stick a bunch of post-its and notes in it so I can keep it on my desk and refer to it.  I found it incredibly helpful and interesting, and I think a lot of people would benefit from reading it.  I feel a lot of us at work find it's hard to have a good balance of emotion at work; you might work somewhere where it's buttoned-up and people never express emotion at all, or you might be somewhere where people share everything they're feeling in the moment.  Finding a balance can be tough, especially if you come from a work culture where you've felt that it can show weakness to express many types of emotions.

Really valuable book!

That's what she said

That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) about Working Together by Joanne Lipman    " 320 pages

First things first: There will be no man shaming in That’s What She Said. A recent Harvard study found that corporate “diversity training” has actually made the gender gap worse—in part because it makes men feel demonized. Women, meanwhile, have been told closing the gender gap is up to them: they need to speak up, to be more confident, to demand to be paid what they’re worth. They discuss these issues amongst themselves all the time.  What they don’t do is talk to men about it."

That last sentence is the key here: women talk about these issues, but they tend to talk to each other. While more and more people in leadership positions are trying to change how people understand communication and work dynamics, it doesn't help if men aren't given the tools they need or an understanding of the data beyond what they can dismiss as anecdotal stories about workplace dynamics.

In this book, the author pulls together loads of data from recent studies, as well as personal stories from both men and women.  By writing about this topic in this way, you gain a better understanding of the why behind dynamics --- and not just a "do this, not that."  

I enjoyed this book, even as I was nodding my head at a lot of things. It was interesting to read explanations of behavior and also consider some solutions.  However, my one takeaway from this book was: men need to read it.  And actually read it, think about it, and then about it with women.  Otherwise, some of the frustrating patterns in workplace communications will continue without change.