Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry 272 pages

 

It’s Saturday afternoon. I should be cleaning the house, but I want a break, so I turn on the television and about the only thing worth watching is “Friends.” First, I must say I am not in the series’ demographic. I was already middle-aged when it premiered. It’s an okay show, but after reading Perry’s story, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I might have a before I cracked the book’s cover.

 

Perry’s favorite movie was “Groundhog Day,” and it imitates an addict’s life to a tee. Trying to get the drugs/alcohol/sex/whatever puts a person on a never-ending loop. Addicts don’t think much pass the next hit. Also, it is the way this book is written. Perry has the same days over and over and over.

 

Unfortunately, due to his sudden death, most of us know Perry’s story. He successfully hid it, at least on television. But truthfully, I had no idea how bad it was. Heartbreaking to say the least.

Therefore, I don’t have the need to rehash his fears, anxieties, doubts and all the other negative emotions/thoughts here.

 

Instead, I’ll talk about some of the high (no pun intended) points. One, when he learned that God is real via the oceanic view from his home. Two, how he truly had gotten sober but couldn’t quite conquer all his demons. Three, his need to help others kick alcohol like he did. Four, how God helped him kick drugs/alcohol/cigarettes. (He craved cigarettes as much as, or more than, he craved opioids.) One day he couldn’t live without them, the next the cravings were gone---one bad habit at a time.

 

In the end, Perry sounded happy and hopeful, that he had truly turned his life around. I choose to believe that this is true, and his death was the unfortunate result of too many years of hard living. Everything caught up with him on the October night in 2023.

 

Therefore, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing gets 5 out of 5 stars in Julie’s world.

 

Ghost Eaters

 

Ghost Eaters by Clay McLeod Chapman 304 pages

 

Want to get haunted? That is the new phrase in Richmond. Instead of getting high, teens and young adults want to get haunted.

 

What does that mean? Instead of getting high and the munchies…or hallucinating gosh know what…takers of a new pill, GHOST, can actually see dead people. Not those they want to see necessarily, but all those who are around them. Considering its past with slavery and the Civil War, there are a LOT of ghosts tethered to the Richmond area.

 

Erin’s small band of friends, of people she trusts---most of the time---includes her ex-boyfriend, Silas, Tobias and Maura. Erin cannot let Silas go. She wants to, but she runs anytime he needs/wants her. She also has a habit of pulling him out rehab when the going gets tough. After all, says Silas, “rehab is for quitters.” When she rescues (?) him this time, he turns up dead under an overpass, and Erin is consumed with guilt.

 

Tobias tells Erin about a new drug, GHOST, that he and Silas have created that enables a person to speak to the dead. Erin leaps at the opportunity to see Silas again…and a whole bunch of other zombie-like creatures. He takes her and Maura to an abandoned subdivision so that the ghosts will have a place to haunt. The séance is successful; Erin can see and talk with Silas.

 

However, the Silas-sighting is only temporary, but the other dead follow her, trying to get close to her, trying to swallow her life force. There are times that these descriptions border less on horror and move the needle to the high-gross factor. I retched on more than one occasion.

 

Erin wants that experience again. She needs that experience. She begins to take more and more pills, desperate to have Silas reappear. Her life spirals out of control while more and more ghosts try to get close to her. They follow her wherever she goes.

 

It's been about a month since I finished this book, and yet it still haunts me. I felt like Erin---I didn’t want to finish, but I had to see what happened. This book is the grossest, not the scariest, book I have ever come across, but it is well done. The things that happened had to happen—a sign of a great plot. Ghost Eaters receives 4 out of stars in Julie’s world. I can still hear Silas say, “Want to
get haunted?”

 

 

Finding Freedom: A Cook's Story; Remaking a Life from Scratch

Finding Freedom: A Cook’s Story; Remaking a Life from Scratch by Erin French 304 pages

Approximately forty-two miles southwest of Bangor, Maine, is the small town of Freedom, home to one of the most desired restaurants in the world: The Lost Kitchen. Reservations at the small restaurant open every year on April 1, and within a couple of days, the entire season is booked.  You can’t call; you have to send in a postcard or a letter that is then placed in a lottery. Hopefuls from all the fifty states and twenty-two countries vie for a seat at the table.

The Lost Kitchen is the dream/restaurant of Erin French, a Mainer born and bred. She has not been to culinary school or studied under great chefs. She relies on instinct and simple foods. The menu changes daily and is based on what local foods are available that day.

Erin French didn’t start out to open a world-renown restaurant. Growing up in Freedom, she dreamed of becoming a doctor. Those plans were waylaid when at twenty-one, French found herself pregnant and alone. She left college and went back home. There she worked with her father in his diner and lived with her parents. She discovered that cooking soothed her soul, and she was good at it. Even the sixteen to eighteen hours a day, six days a week, didn’t dampen her enthusiasm.

Eventually she and her son, Jaim, moved to a cottage on her parent’s property. During the off-season (winter), the diner was closed and she found work in other restaurants. Life was hard. French turned to pills to get her up in the morning, keep her calm during the day and to help her sleep at night.

Soon French met someone and married him. But as soon as the ring went on her finger, her new husband, Tom, began to berate her, control her every move, and, on occasion, threaten her life with physical violence.

 French shares her highs and lows with her reader, without pulling any punches.  Sometime this book is hard to read as French battles for her life and sanity. From multiple tries in rehab to a custody/divorce battle, French’s story is a classic American tale of grabbing yourself by your bootstraps and picking yourself up, time and time again.

I do wish that French had given us a recipe or two. That would have pushed this book into a 6 star category. However, Finding Freedom: A Cook’s Story; Remaking a Life from Scratch receives 5 out of 5 stars in Julie’s world. 

 

The Talented Miss Farwell

The Talented Miss Farwell by Emily Gray Tedrowe   352 pages

Two hours south of Chicago is the small town of Pierson, Illinois. Becky Farwell is a quiet, single woman who is the town’s treasurer and accountant.  She knows the books by heart. She is always able to find some money by juggling the books to fund whatever project the town needs funding. Her one outlet is art, and soon she begins collecting it.

However, Becky doesn’t want to be quiet intelligent Becky. She wants to be sophisticated, well versed in the art of conversation, especially art. So she re-invents herself, going by the name Reba Farwell.  She has a different wardrobe and a completely differently personality than Becky.

Becky/Reba becomes obsessed with collecting art and making as much money as she can. She is tired of struggling in her small farming community and trying to run the family farm-equipment business. The problem is, Becky/Reba needs money to feed her new obsession.  She begins siphoning money from Pierson’s different account.

This goes on for years. She buys and sells art all the while replacing what she has “borrowed” from Pierson. However, at one point, she is almost three million dollars behind returning the money.

Readers don’t have to be accountants to understand what Becky is doing, nor do they have to know art to understand Reba’s mania. This heist thriller had me on the edge of my seat for most of it.

 The Talented Miss Farwell receives 5 out of 5 stars in Julie’s world. 

 

Addicted

Addicted by Zane   336 pages

Zoe Reynard has it all,  a successful business, a faithful loving husband and 3 adoring children.   She loved it all but there was one very important thing missing.   The lack of excitement in her bedroom was taking a toll on her.   Zoe's husband Jason was not at all sexually adventurous.  Every time it was the same old missionary position with little or no foreplay and absolutely no afterplay.  Zoe longed for sexual excitement like a flower opening to the sun but every time she tried to steer things to a higher plane Jason shut her down acting as though she was a wanton hedonist.   What?   She was willing to do anything for Jason but he wasn't having it and she couldn't understand why.  To her way of thinking wouldn't most men be happy as a mug if their wives wanted to get a little freaky between the sheets?   But nope not Jason.   She should have realized there might be an issue when during their highschool sweetheart phase Jason wouldn't have sex with her telling her he wanted them to wait until marriage to experiece that.  All their friends were steady knocking boots but not them.   However, they were the first of their group to get married.   Zoe could hardly wait  and was finally able to get Jason to have a little premarital 2 minute session with her prior to taking their vows not realizing it only takes 1 time to get pregnant which Zoe did.   Two minutes of sex proved to be the normal for the couple and Zoe was beside herself with desire and started pleasuring herself while watching porn on the sly and experimenting with vibrators and other sexual toys but eventually it was not enough and Zoe teetered on wanting to feel fulfilled.   She was an affair waiting to happen and eventually circumstances present themselves to which she ends up having affairs with 2 other men and a woman.   Zoe lives the lie being a good little Stepford Wife at home and acting out her every sexual fantasy whenever she could.   She hated liing to the love of her life, Jason.   She wanted to have amazing sex with her Jason whose body was incredible if only he would use it to please her the way she wanted him to.   A double-llife can get out of hand and lies can catch up with a person and does in major ways when Zoe finds her life getting out of control.    A good book with definite mature themes and situations.    I think this one would be best kept in the adult sector.   I do recommend it.   I am a fan of Zane's writing and think this title would make an awesome book club selection.   The conversations this tale could inspire are endless!  

Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions

Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions by Russell Brand       Audio Book: 7 hours, 54 minutes    Hardback Book:  288 pages       

Russell Brand speaks openly about his addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, and how he sought satisfaction from fame, and never feeling loved he sought solace in all things that were bad for him just to dull the empty feeling then he tried to find something meaningful only to never be satiated then falling back to drugs, alcohol and sex he tried to feel a real emotion.  He says he has been in all the 12-step programs and has started his own men’s group.   He wants to help others from his own experience.    The man speaks of his own experiences and with experience comes the wisdom of what happens when you let your consciousness go and how much better clear thinking being in your own skin can be.    He openly talks about his life from when his mother died of cancer to his life today as a father and performer.    He speaks plainly dropping f-bombs frequently so if cursing offends you might want to pass on this one.    He speaks very straight forward and admits to his search for meaning in his life as beginning with his anger at his mother for dying and leaving him to how he now knows how to overcome the triggers that could set him off the path to clean living.    He talks about all of his addictions in very real ways and speaks to the reader very articulately.   I can see where he would be a great teacher because he is one of those people that seems like life is just one big joke until you hear the real person inside speaking of the harsh realities he has encountered in his life and how he speaks to the hearts and minds of other addicts from a place of knowing.    He is very deep and is said to be a yogi.   He often teaches in ways that make one think of Hindu philosophers.    He speaks of God in relation to the higher power discussed in the 12 step programs and tells the reader he has come to believe in the saving grace of that higher power.   His youth was full of emptiness and the search for meaning to experience honest emotion and be loved now he has found that all-encompassing power in the religious teachings of God mentioned in the 12 step programs.    He accepts that higher power in his life and brings this into the discussions with the men in his healing group.   It has helped him and worked for him and f-bombs are just part of expressing things sometimes.   Hey, even the apostle Peter was known for his cussing and he got to hang with Jesus in the flesh.   We all come with our own foibles.   Russell Brand could start a self-help program.   I am sure it would be successful.   He comes from a place of understanding for all addictions not just drugs and alcohol, but, food addictions, obsessions/compulsions he gets it and I think he would be a great teacher if he chose that path.   I think we will hear more from him in that area.    Maybe he will spend more time with it when he sees that he is a good voice in the darkness.   He cuts through the b.s.  and offers helpful ideas because he gets it and doesn’t judge just calls it real in a genuine way.   Very deep yet very adept at dealing with sensitive topics.   Actor, comedian, now teacher.   Well done, Russell Brand.    

Paradise Incorporated

Paradise Incorporated: Synanon: A Personal Account by David U Gerstel, 278 pages

Synanon began life as a group within Alcoholics Anonymous in Santa Monica that developed a form of group criticism they dubbed "the Game".  After breaking with AA, they began their own rehabilitation program centered on communal living and playing the Game.  As the group's successes with addicts garnered publicity, Synanon grew rapidly, and attention and power increasingly accrued to the charismatic leader, Charles Dederich.  As it grew, the group became less effective at reforming and retaining addicts, but also began to attract non-addicts experimenting with encounter groups and communal living.  This adjusted the goals of the organization, which began to aim at a general moral reform of society as a whole.   

The cult of personality surrounding "the Founder", Dederich, likewise grew, along with his ambition.  Synanon went into decline, which triggered ever-greater demands on members, which further shrank the group down to a dedicated core willing to defend their way of life by any means necessary.  Dederich became increasingly controlling, erratic, and paranoid, mandating shaved heads and vasectomies, ordering harassment, abuse, and beatings against enemies internal and external, real and imagined.

Author Gerstel was a member of Synanon for a number of key years at the peak of its success.  Although his history of the group, before, after, and during his own involvement, provides little insight into the development of such groups generally, the book shines as an unpretentious personal account of how an idealistic, intelligent, educated young man could find himself a member of such an organization, how normal the abnormal can be made to seem, and how difficult it can be to leave.

Sinners Welcome

Sinners Welcome by Mary Karr, 93 pages

An admirable collection of poems that manages to wed the sublime to the grotesque.  Karr finds faith, hope, and love - in short, the sacred - in the unlikeliest places and things, conveying meaning and feeling with a light touch that never becomes sentimental or preachy.  The best of the poems surprise with a flicker of light in what seemed dead dimness.

Included is an essay Karr wrote for Poetry magazine about her slow, grudging conversion to Catholicism, out of long struggles with alcoholism but also a sense of the sacredness of words.

All Fall Down

All Fall Down by Jennifer Weiner
388 Pages

Allison Weiss is a busy mom.  With a demanding daughter, older parents, a part time job turned full-time, and a troubled marriage she feels the demands overwhelming her and seeks
help with some pain pills she got when she hurt her back.  The downward spiral continues and Allison finds herself with an escalating problem but feels she doesn't have anything in common with the usual rehab crowd.

Weiner shows how addiction can strike anyone, regardless of their background or past history.  The narrative is engaging and I read this in one night (of course I couldn't sleep either).