Monday, February 29, 2016

Beside Myself

Beside Myself by Ann Morgan.  313 pages.

This is a literary psychological thriller about two identical twins, Helen and Ellie, who swap places when they are six years old.  At first, it's a fun game, but when Ellie refuses to swap back, Helen is thrown into a lifelong tailspin.   As their lives sharply veer apart, it's uncertain if the truth will ever be revealed, and at what cost.

I found this book to be disturbing, very much so at times, and yet couldn't stop turning the pages.  I hadn't planned to sit down with it on a Sunday afternoon and read it all, but I just kept gulping down the pages.   You get the story from Helen's viewpoint, which at times becomes skewed, as it becomes apparent that she is suffering from mental illness.   When the twins swap identities for one day, it shouldn't be a big deal.  However, Helen is the favored child, the one who does well in school and whose behavior is always good.   Ellie, the daughter who seems troubled, and always a bit of a mess, obviously relishes the opportunity to play Helen for the day.  When Ellie refuses to reveal their swap to their mother, and their mother (awfully) can't tell the difference between them, Helen is thrown off track.  No one will believe her that she's the real Helen, and Ellie is starting to do such a convincing Helen impression that there's no going back.  Over the years, Helen (called Smudge when we begin the story, with her as an adult reflecting back) unravels, spiraling into dangerous, self-harming behavior as Ellie (or "Hellie" as Helen calls her) seems to be on a successful path.  

However, when Ellie has an accident and lapses into a coma, Helen finally is able to confront the awful truth of what happened.   However, it's unclear if this will really help anything.

I found Helen to be a very compelling character, even though I would read and cringe at the same time.  She gets caught up in an awful kind of life, and her mother is an absolute monster.  As the story progressed, I couldn't be sure what was going to happen next, but I liked that.   The book was strange, and disturbing . . . but I couldn't look away.   Is it a book for everyone?  Definitely not.  But if you're looking for a different kind of psychological thriller, with a potentially unreliable narrator, this is your kind of story.

No comments:

Post a Comment