Not If I Can Help It

Not If I Can Help It by Carolyn Mackler   240 pages   

A well told tale, either Carolyn Mackler is VERY familiar with autistic kids or she has certainly done her research diligently.   The narrator of the story is Willa who suffers from a severe sensory processing emotional disorder with autistic tendencies in which she can tolerate some things but others drive her over the brink into near madness with emotional tantrums to the extreme.   Her case is so severe I find it hard to imagine she kept it from her best friend since babyhood.   Willa does not like change of any kind and when her parents divorce she nearly goes berserk trying to adjust to two different lifestyles in two completely different households.    She finds some solace escaping the terribleness of it all talking out her life with her best friend.   Things eventually settle down, both of her parents are tolerant to the point of exercising New Age practices to help her deal with her excessive tirades.    As hard as it is, she stays with her father and brother when her mother marries someone else.   HORNS BLARE, ROCKETS EXPLODE as she is set off into mind numbing screaming fits that she has to be comforted through.    After much time she accepts this change too but now it turns out her father is dating her best friend's mother!!!!   The screech of metal grinding metal,  horrific howls,  destruction of everything within her reach and much that is not - Willa is not having it - she has never told her friend about her sensory processing disorder - it is too awful a secret to share.    For the most part she has learned to maintain at school over the years but this is too much and she is wound way too tight to think of her best friend becoming her sister as her father gets more and more serious about her best friend's Mom.   She is on red alert almost constantly and her friend does not understand why she would hate the idea, because, being sisters they could live together in the same house and play together all the time.   That sounds like heaven - why does Willa take such offense and something so wonderful?    It is quite a harsh ride with Willa going 0 to 60 at the drop of a hat or less.   A good perspective into what it must be like living with such a condition for the person who has it and the people having to deal with the repurcussions of it.    A good story, you will often get miffed at Willa, she is so unreasonable although she can't help it, but, it is agonising for the reader, too, because her outbursts are told so realistically you can picture yourself watching the goings on.  Good book.    I recommend it to middle schoolers on up.    A good read, an intense read and sometimes you will feel like Willa is just a selfish brat but then you will turn around when her mother is comforting her and feel sorry for the poor kid having to deal with so much.