De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 seconds or less

Shirley J.             Adult Non-Fiction                 Calming an irate person easy to follow instructions        

De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less by Douglas E. Noll   256 pages

The book offers many scenarios, an angry person off the street, an angry spouse, child, parent, boss, co-worker, friend, etc.  and Noll walks you through de-escalating the tension in each of these situations.   He offers various examples and offers his oft times clinical take on your response.   For the most part, the first half of this book, my gut feeling tells me if you tried to parrot back at a really ballistically volatile human the jargon Noll recommends the hostile person would likely punch you in the face and maybe not stop there because the robot-like bounce back at the attacker speak he promotes is even more infuriating in any scenario he brings up and would only fan the flames of the person's anger and frustration.   I don't agree with his opinion, however, by the second half of the book, he is being far more down to earth and truer in his repartee with the anxious, frustrated and fiery talker and the second half of the book, actually talks the person off the ledge and gives them an assurance the listener (You) is actually grasping what they are trying to get across to them and actually is listening to what the speaker is saying and either sympathizing with their plight or at least letting them get it all expressed and not being judgmental.   An irate person is not always looking for someone to solve their problem, sometimes they just need someone to listen to them vent or to be understanding of their position in whatever problem they are experiencing.   In the second half of the book Noll expresses this kind of response and offers solid realistic tactics for de-escalating a person who is one click away from triggering a reaction no one wants.   So, once you get through the stuff that you will shake your head on and say to yourself, "Oh this person is going to get hurt if they act like a wall and bounce the person's words back at them like that."  It does get better later on.  I can't even imagine why a professional would try that because this isn't the old days, folks are one step away from throwing down at any given moment (ie. road rage, etc.) but his suggested responses in the latter half of the book are more realistic and would stand a better chance of communicating that you are non-threatening, you hear what they are saying, you get what the issue is and you are here to help or listen whichever is what the person is looking to you for.   I would recommend this book because the first part will inspire you to come up with ways that would fit logically for you as a responder and not the impractical responses offered, the second half will actually offer useful information.   I would recommend this book to adults (kids would drop it like it is hot when they saw the "clinical" responses and call b.s.) particularly those with interest in psychology and social interactions.