Pretending

 Pretending by Holly Bourne  412 pages 

April is pretty, and relatively normal (all things considered) but she can't seem to get past date five with any man. And every time she thinks she's found someone she can trust, they break her heart . . . and also leave her angry.  If only April could be more like Gretel, a woman she has made up in her own mind. Gretel is what all men want -- a Cool Girl, a regular girl, a bit of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl With No Problems. When April decides to try being Gretel on her next dates, dating becomes much more fun, especially when she meets Joshua. Now, April is in control and there's no way Joshua can really get too close to her, which means he can't break her heart. Question is: how long can April keep pretending to be in control of her feelings?

Interesting story. Admittedly, I often found I got impatient with April although I found some of her points about the opposite sex, dating and relationships to be thought-provoking (and sometimes very funny). There are some pretty sensitive issues here, though -- April works for a place that handles calls from women who have been raped or abused, or are in unhealthy relationships. So, that definitely colors April's view of men (which makes sense). I thought this book was okay --- it was worth finishing and I liked parts of it, but I didn't find much of it really resonated with me.  Which is fine --- I know other readers really enjoyed this book and like this author. It's just a case of "not my book."

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley 272 pages

"Day in, day out, women anticipate and manage the needs of others. In relationships, we initiate the hard conversations. At home, we shoulder the mental load required to keep our households running. At work, we moderate our tone, explaining patiently and speaking softly. In the world, we step gingerly to keep ourselves safe. We do this largely invisible, draining work whether we want to or not—and we never clock out. No wonder women everywhere are overtaxed, exhausted, and simply fed up."

This is taken from the book's summary on Goodreads and is a good setup for what the book is about. The author wrote an article several years ago that went viral, in part because of the overwhelming amount of responses to it from other women who were feeling the same way about the emotional labor they shoulder. Gemma Hartley begins the book with a story from her own life to illustrate an example of what she called emotional labor. From there, she examines the cultural messages women receive and how women tend to fall into a pattern of performing emotional labor both at work and at home, and how this limits their opportunities and adversely affects their quality of life.

I had placed a hold on this book, although when I picked it up, I couldn't remember why. Then, I remembered the original article.  I had been curious about this book and it did make for an interesting read, although I don't strongly identify with the author and some of the situations she writes about. However, there were a number of things that I read that I found made me nod my head, especially about how women spend a lot of time analyzing how to communicate, how to find the right tone, the right way to say things, anticipating the reactions of others (especially men) and how to modulate themselves.  And, above all else, to make all of this appear smooth and effortless, much like a duck swimming on a pond (smooth on top, paddling furiously beneath the water).  I also found I was frequently reading the book and appreciating my own husband (and making sure I tell him this).

I feel like this is a book a lot of women would benefit from by reading, if nothing else than to see that they might not be alone in their frustration and also to give a name to their frustration.  I have a cousin who has complained about her husband for years, especially since their daughter was born; I might send her a note and suggest she check this book out from her library. 

The Lost for Words Bookshop

The Lost for Words Bookshop by Stephanie Butland  368 pages

I have a weak spot for books and bookstores, or perhaps I should say a bookshop since the setting of this novel is England.  But my love of books is why I picked up Butland’s novel. And I loved the second sentence on the dust jacket: “If you look carefully, you might glimpse the first lines of the novels [Loveday] loves most tattooed on her skin.”

“What a quirky character this Loveday must be,” I remember thinking. “I’m gonna love this book!”  Ah, but once again, I was wrong, so very wrong.  I’ve tried several times to read what others are referring to as “a gem of a novel,” but honestly, I don’t get it.

Loveday has been working at the bookshop for ten tears, since she was fifteen and a product of the foster-care system. She loves books all as much as I do, and like me, prefers books over people. There is a childhood tragedy that she wants to remain hidden from the few people in her life. When trying to find the owner of a lost book, she meets magician/poet Nathan. He saves her from an awkward encounter with her ex-boyfriend, which, to me, seems to really go against the notion that she prefers books to people.

Unwelcome emotions begin to rear when Loveday’s mother’s old books begin mysteriously showing up in the bookshop, and she is forced to confront her past.

I found “The Lost for Words Bookshop” boring and predictable and that is why it receives 2 out of 5 stars in Julie’s world.