You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey

 You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism by Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar   215 pages

Summary from Goodreads: Now a writer and performer on Late Night with Seth Meyers and host of The Amber Ruffin Show, Amber Ruffin lives in New York, where she is no one's First Black Friend and everyone is, as she puts it, "stark raving normal." But Amber's sister Lacey? She's still living in their home state of Nebraska, and trust us, you'll never believe what happened to Lacey.

From racist donut shops to strangers putting their whole hand in her hair, from being mistaken for a prostitute to being mistaken for Harriet Tubman, Lacey is a lightning rod for hilariously ridiculous yet all-too-real anecdotes. She's the perfect mix of polite, beautiful, petite, and Black that apparently makes people think "I can say whatever I want to this woman." And now, Amber and Lacey share these entertainingly horrifying stories through their laugh-out-loud sisterly banter. Painfully relatable or shockingly eye-opening (depending on how often you have personally been followed by security at department stores), this book tackles modern-day racism with the perfect balance of levity and gravity.

And here's what I thought: No, I can believe this. But I can't. Maybe I can, because I know first-hand how ignorant people can be ---- but seriously, it's hard to believe just how many people Lacey encounters who are like this. Disappointing, yes. Believable, yes. Funny, yes --- but also pretty sobering because these stories are funny because it's hard to believe people are that stupid. Definitely an eye-opening read and while this is written with a humorous tone, it's seriously not funny what some people say or do. Yikes.

Bad Feminist

 Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay  320 pages

Summary from Goodreads: In these funny and insightful essays, Roxane Gay takes us through the journey of her evolution as a woman of color while also taking readers on a ride through culture of the last few years and commenting on the state of feminism today. The portrait that emerges is not only one of an incredibly insightful woman continually growing to understand herself and our society, but also one of our culture.

Bad Feminist is a sharp, funny, and spot-on look at the ways in which the culture we consume becomes who we are, and an inspiring call-to-arms of all the ways we still need to do better

And here's what I thought: I re-read this book for a book group discussion and like other comments I've made about collections of essays, I enjoyed some essays in this book more than others. I like Gay's writing style, both in fiction and nonfiction, and like Rebecca Solnit's collection, Men Explain Things to Me, there are some moments of wry humor in Gay's essays, even as some of her other essays are unflinching when addressing serious topics. I will admit, I absolutely love Gay's essay about playing in Scrabble tournaments -- every time I read this essay, I laugh out loud because it's not just the main essay, but also the little side notes, often snarky, that make it so funny. 

Men Explain Things to Me

 Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit   160 pages

Summary from Goodreads:  In her comic, scathing essay “Men Explain Things to Me,” Rebecca Solnit took on what often goes wrong in conversations between men and women. She wrote about men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don’t, about why this arises, and how this aspect of the gender wars works, airing some of her own hilariously awful encounters.

She ends on a serious note— because the ultimate problem is the silencing of women who have something to say, including those saying things like, “He’s trying to kill me!”

This book features that now-classic essay with six perfect complements, including an examination of the writer Virginia Woolf ’s embrace of mystery, of not knowing, of doubt and ambiguity, a highly original inquiry into marriage equality, and a terrifying survey of the scope of contemporary violence against women.

And here's what I thought:  Interestingly, I read this right after Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay, so my reactions to it may have had something to do with that. I found some of the essays here to be more interesting than others, but I appreciated some of the author's take on many issues.  Her comments about misogyny and violence towards women seem to especially resonate in light of recent news events (shooting of several Asian women at spas in Georgia, the police attack on a woman at night in Britain).For example, she writes on page 33 "Of course, women are capable of all sorts of major unpleasantness, and there are violent crimes by women, but the so-called war of the sexes is extraordinarily lopsided when it comes to actual violence . . .  No female bus riders in India have ganged up to sexually assault a man so badly he dies of his injuries, nor are marauding packs of women terrorizing men in Cairo's Tahrir Square, and there's just no maternal equivalent to the 11 percent of rapes that are by fathers and stepfathers." While there is some wry humor in some essays, I appreciate that Solnit is unflinching in others.

Solutions and Other Problems

 Solutions and Other Problems by Allie Brosh    518 pages

It's been 7 years (!!) since Hyperbole and a Half and Allie Brosh is back!  This is a new collection of funny, illustrated autobiographical essays.  And, like her first book, some of the stories are bit more sad than funny, all of them are quirky (and some of them are probably relatable to some of us).  Whether it's about naughty animals, childhood adventures, or introspective essays about loneliness and grief, this collection is filled with honesty (and some very funny illustrations).

Like her first book, I found some of the essays to be really funny (meaning, don't read them in bed before sleep if you're already tired . . . ) and some of them to be kind of sad and thoughtful. Not everything resonated with me, but I enjoyed the book --- and absolutely loved some of the stories. Like, the one about the argument she got into with her ex-husband which culminates in a directive about choosing bananas at the store (or not).  Welcome back, Allie!!

Wow, No Thank You

 Wow, No Thank You by Samatha Irby   336 pages

This is a collection of essays about marriage, aging, settling down, and being Black in white, small-town America.  Irby let Chicago and moved into a house with her wife and two stepchildren in a small town in Michigan.  As the book's description says, "This is the bourgeois life of dreams. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "skinny, luminous peoples" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," and hides Entenmann's cookies under her bed and unopened bills under her pillow."

I found some of the essays funnier than others, but what I really loved was reading about Irby's experiences in Chicago. I have gone to some of the same clubs, and really liked how reading this brought back my own memories of living and working in Chicago.  I also liked reading her perspectives on life -- I found some of the same things funny, but she's also nothing like me --- so it was cool to learn more about her.  Fun book!  Also, bonus points for the cute bunny on the cover.

Pretty Bitches On Being Called Crazy, Angry, Bossy, Frumpy, Feisty, and All the Other Words That Are Used to Undermine Women

 Pretty Bitches: On Being Called Crazy, Angry, Bossy, Frumpy, Feisty, and All the Other Words That Are Used to Undermine Women    284 pages

"Words matter. They wound, they inflate, they define, they demean. They have nuance and power. "Effortless," "Sassy," "Ambitious," "Aggressive": What subtle digs and sneaky implications are conveyed when women are described with words like these? Words are made into weapons, warnings, praise, and blame, bearing an outsized influence on women's lives -- to say nothing of our moods.

No one knows this better than Lizzie Skurnick, writer of the New York Times' column "That Should be A Word" and a veritable queen of cultural coinage. And in Pretty Bitches, Skurnick has rounded up a group of powerhouse women writers to take on the hidden meanings of these words, and how they can limit our worlds -- or liberate them.

From Laura Lipmann and Meg Wolizer to Jennifer Weiner and Rebecca Traister, each writer uses her word as a vehicle for memoir, cultural commentary, critique, or all three. Spanning the street, the bedroom, the voting booth, and the workplace, these simple words have huge stories behind them -- stories it's time to examine, re-imagine, and change. "

Copying and pasting the Goodreads description was the easiest way to give the summary of this book, especially since it's essays written by so many people. I found most of the essays to be thought-provoking, especially since language is something I've considered for a long time. And especially as it is used to describe women. Definitely an interesting read and something I'd recommend for anyone interested in linguistics and/or women's studies. 

The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories

The Opposite of Loneliness:  Essays and Stories by Marina Keegan    256 pages

Bittersweet and lyrical in its delivery, every story and essay like a truth serum to the soul.   So much more meaningful when you realize the talent and ease this author paints word pictures with, so much so that you want to read more, get more glimpses into her psyche because she offers it up so completely and so clearly.   No pretense just pure honesty.  The lack of inhibitions, the reveal of who she is naked to the world like a minute old newborn.   Life had taken her places of sorrow and grief but things were on a trajectory though the roof with her new job at the New Yorker, her graduation 5 days earlier Magna Cum Laude from Yale University, "Independents,"  one of her musical plays about to be performed at the Fringe  Festival!  Life was amazing and everything happening so fast and all at once until it wasn't.  5 days after graduation, Marina Keegan was killed in an auto accident.  The circumstances are tragic but the words are those of a gifted writer.   Treat yourself to this read you will be glad you did.   Meet the essence that is/was Marina.   I recommend it to Middler Schoolers on up.   A delightful experience.  Like Schrodinger's cat she is both living and dead all at the same time straddling two worlds her spirit in each.        

 posted by Shirley J.

What My Mother and I Don't Talk About Fifteen Writers Break the Silence

What My Mother and I Don't Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break the Silence edited by Michele Filgate 288 pages

"Fifteen brilliant writers explore what we don’t talk to our mothers about, and how it affects us, for better or for worse. As an undergraduate, Michele Filgate started writing an essay about being abused by her stepfather. It took her more than a decade to realize what she was actually trying to write: how this affected her relationship with her mother. When it was finally published, the essay went viral, shared on social media by Anne Lamott, Rebecca Solnit, and many others. The outpouring of responses gave Filgate an idea, and the resulting anthology offers a candid look at our relationships with our mothers.

While some of the writers in this book are estranged from their mothers, others are extremely close. Leslie Jamison writes about trying to discover who her seemingly perfect mother was before ever becoming a mom. In Cathi Hanauer’s hilarious piece, she finally gets a chance to have a conversation with her mother that isn’t interrupted by her domineering (but lovable) father. André Aciman writes about what it was like to have a deaf mother. Melissa Febos uses mythology as a lens to look at her close-knit relationship with her psychotherapist mother. And Julianna Baggott talks about having a mom who tells her everything."   summary from Goodreads

I thought this was an interesting book. As with many collections of essays, I liked some more than others. However as a collection, the book is powerful. The mother-daughter relationship has been written about, by so many people, so much --- but this book also includes essays by sons, so that was refreshing.

Southern Lady Code

Southern Lady Code by Helen Ellis    224 pages 

"Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen."  (courtesy of Goodreads)

I had read Ellis' book of short stories, American Housewife -- which I really enjoyed and also really enjoyed as an audiobook. So, I had been eagerly anticipating this book of essays by Ellis.  And, I was not disappointed --- I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

From the Goodreads summary, you might get the impression that all of the essays are humorous, but that's not true --- there's one, in particular, about Ellis' decision to be child-free (which you can read here, as well), which I found very thoughtful and serious.  However, I also laughed out loud a few times when reading this book.  In fact, at one point, I laughed so hard that I just sat with the book on my lap and snorted with laughter --- which made my husband come up from downstairs, where he heard me over the noise of the hockey game he was watching, to ask me what was so funny.  

I know you want to know what was so funny ---- it was Ellis' description of how she came home to a remodeling project and discovered one of the workers masturbating in a room, behind an open door. Ellis wrote that at first, she thought the guy was doing something connected to "Die Hard," the Bruce Willis movie, and she was tempted to jump into the room, screaming, "Yippee Ki-Yay, Mother.....r!!"  And then realized there was a sound "like an otter trapped in a pickle jar," coming from the room.... so she did not do anything but silently walked away (and then notified the worker's boss).  Just the idea of her popping into the room screaming that line from Die Hard made me laugh --- but the sentence about "an otter trapped in a pickle jar" put me over the edge.

Have a Nice Guilt Trip

Have a Nice Guilt Trip (The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman) by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serratella          Audio Book:  5 hrs, 50 mins.          Paperback Book:  320 pages       

Such funny stories these ladies share about their lives.   It is like being out having cocktails with the girls with everyone sharing hilarious true happenings n their lives.   Lisa tells tales on her body issues, how she sleeps with 5 dogs in her bed every night and her lack of dates (maybe that is why she says) and of course stories on the irrepressible Mother Mary.      Francesa is excited to have discovered a Farmer’s Market in her neighborhood and how her repertoire of unusual fruits and veggies is expanding and how her cooking is improving because of it.    There are tales about her beloved fur baby, Pip and a scary one, too – Francesca’s current boyfriend gave Pip a chicken bone!   Trying to make nice she downplayed it to the guy but inside she was freaking out.  Good news – the vet didn’t find the bone on Pip’s x-ray which Frnacesca had him do twice to be sure it was correct.   Pip lives!    Always delightful hearing the tales these two come up with.    So funny with a touch of nostalgia and melancholy to this book.   Mother Mary turned 90 years old but passed away after the book was written but before Lisa and Francesca had recorded the audio book version, so they were able to share the sad news with their fans in a recorded interview, while continuing to wax nostalgic and sharing the humor in Mother Mary flirting with her doctors all the way to the end.   Good book.    I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves to laugh and to anyone who can laugh with and about those they love.    Another winner by the Mother Daughter writing team.

 - Shirley J.

I See Life Through Rose' Colored Glasses

I See Life Through Rose' Colored Glasses by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Saratella     Audio Book:: 6 hours, 1 min.      Hardback Book:  352 pages         

This is a hilarious book.   Lisa Scottoline and her daughter Francesa Saratella are so funny!   They share true stories from their lives about the foibles we all go through and can relate whole heartedly to, it is just that we keep our screw ups to ourselves and these gals share them and tell them with such hilarity the reader will laugh all the way through this book.   I recommend the audio book because you will actually hear them telling the stories they share.   They are a riot!   Treat yourself to this read you will be glad you did.   I definetly recommend these gals be put on everyone's MUST READ list.    No mater how your day is going you will laugh out loud.

Gross Anatomy: Dispatches from the Front (and Back)

Gross Anatomy: Dispatches from the Front (and Back) by Mara Altman    320 pages

"An honest, funny, neurotic, and totally gross love child of Mindy Kaling and Mary Roach. Mara Altman's volatile and apprehensive relationship with her body has led her to wonder about a lot of stuff over the years. Like, who decided that women shouldn't have body hair? And how sweaty is too sweaty? Also, why is breast cleavage sexy but camel toe revolting? Isn't it all just cleavage? These questions and others like them have led to the comforting and sometimes smelly revelations that constitute Gross Anatomy, an essay collection about what it's like to operate the bags of meat we call our bodies."

I really like Mary Roach's books, so this book sounded interesting.  And . . . I prefer Mary Roach's books.  It's probably because there were topics the author covered that just weren't that interesting to me. Or, things that I never thought about too much (and maybe that's a good thing). However, I appreciate that the author questions a lot of things, especially customs that don't seem to have a basis in rational explanation (see the chapter on body hair).  I liked reading this, although I found some sections to be more interesting than others. 

Taking Things Seriously: 75 Objects with Unexpected Significance

Taking Things Seriously: 75 Objects with Unexpected Significance   by Joshua Glenn,  Carol Hayes

This is an odd little book that I found when I was evaluating part of the collection. The authors invited people they knew to submit a photo and short writeup about an object they found significant. The result is a book of 75 unlikely things that have been invested with significance. These include toys, scraps of posters, and even a bagel.  Yes, a bagel. 

The fact that these are individual short essays about objects with great personal significance makes for interesting reading. It also made me contemplate what kinds of things I would choose if I were to create a "wonder cabinet" of my own (it would be too difficult for me to choose just one thing).  It also makes me think about how I sometimes see something and wonder about the significance of it. Like, if I see something obviously set off by itself in a room, or on a shelf, or even on the street. It can be fun to make up stories about who would buy a particular pair of shoes, or a painting.  This little book offers a glimpse into those kind of stories.

Shrill

Shrill: Notes from a loud woman by Lindy West.  260 pages; audiobook 5 discs

In this book, which is kind of a series of essays about her life, Lindy West talks about her childhood, sizeism, Internet trolls, and much more.  She has a great sense of humor, although she has a barbed wit when it comes to certain things (which I really enjoy). Some of her essays are pretty thoughtful and even provocative, and I found that the book really made me think.

Listening to West read her audiobook really elevated the experience with the book. There's something about hearing intonations and inflections with essays like hers that really make it feel more like some kind of conversation, instead of the experience you have reading the book. I listened to this audiobook in my car and sometimes, would be laughing really hard and then a few times, found myself talking back to her (yes, out loud). I don't agree with every single thing she says, but I do find that her unapologetic way of addressing issues definitely makes me feel like I'd love to hang out with her.

You'll Grow Out of It

You'll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein    291 pages

This collection of stories by comedian Jessi Klein take you through her childhood into adulthood (although not always completely in time-line order).  She offers a funny but sometimes touching account on a variety of topics, including her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man," attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between being called "ma'am" and "miss" ("Miss" sounds like you weigh ninety-nine pounds).

I had this book on my TBR list and picked it up when I had a book fail earlier this week.  I didn't know anything about Jessi Klein, but that didn't stop this from being an enjoyable read.  I admit that I did laugh out loud several times, and at one point, reading before bed, had to put the book down because I was laughing too hard.  I may have just been over-tired.  I don't know if I'll pick this up for a re-read, but I enjoyed it this time around.

Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman

Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West

"With inimitable good humor, vulnerability, and boundless charm, Lindy boldly shares how to survive in a world where not all stories are created equal and not all bodies are treated with equal respect, and how to weather hatred, loneliness, harassment, and loss--and walk away laughing."

Usually, I try to write my own summary, but this time, I felt like that quote summed it up.  This series of essays by writer Lindy West is a narration of her life, as well as her insights into what culture expects from women.  With the expectation that girls should be as small, compliant and quiet as possible, as a child, Lindy knew she'd never fit that mold.  She didn't, and she still doesn't, and she's unapologetic.  And I like that.

I really loved some of the chapters, like the one about her writing for The Stranger, and how she and Dan Savage got into it over what she saw as Dan's writing that was fat-shaming.  I felt like Lindy made some awesome points about how society seems people who are fat, and how people leap to make judgments about them.  She says, "However, it is easier to mock and deride individual fat people than to fix food deserts, school lunches, corn subsidies, inadequate or nonexistent public transportation, unsafe sidewalks and parks, healthcare, mental healthcare, the minimum wage, and your own insecurities."  (emphasis mine)  I put my sticky note flags in a bunch of places in that chapter.

Do I agree with every single thing she says?  No (and seriously, I never agree with every single thing that anyone says. It's just not possible).  However, I feel she makes a bunch of valid points, and totally calls out a bunch of things that I think are important to call out.  And talk about.  And hey, maybe be loud about.

What I really mean to say, after reading this book, is that I feel like I'd want Lindy West as a friend.  I kept looking at her author photo on the book jacket and thinking that she looks like a total badass. Maybe I should send her some cupcakes.  Or some wine.  Maybe both.  Reading her book made me laugh out loud, but also silently (and in my own head), raise a fist in a heck yeah! gesture a couple of times.   I'm going to buy a copy of this book for myself (shocking, since I rarely buy books, since I'm surrounding by them at the library).   Seriously also considering buying a few extras, so I can give them to some people I know (including a few in my own family).

The Opposite of Loneliness

The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan, 208 pages

Full of short fiction stories and personal essays, the premise behind this book is absolutely heartbreaking. It is so hard to put aside all knowledge of Keegan's tragic death while reading the stories that I would often find myself crying.

Long story short: Marina Keegan graduated magna cum laude from Yale, about to head into a job at The New Yorker, with a promising writing career ahead of her. Five days after graduation, she died in a car accident at 22-years old.

Her short life serves as a reminder that if a bright, successful, and promising young woman could die in a freak accident in her twenties, it could happen to any of us at any time. Her stories are also a clear illustration of what her death should be remembered as: a reminder that life is too short to be too-mired down in the complexities of the world that we completely miss the little joys that life has to offer.

No matter how cliché, that is what her life, through her writings, should be teaching us.