First things first: There will be no man shaming in That’s What She Said. A recent Harvard study found that corporate “diversity training” has actually made the gender gap worse—in part because it makes men feel demonized. Women, meanwhile, have been told closing the gender gap is up to them: they need to speak up, to be more confident, to demand to be paid what they’re worth. They discuss these issues amongst themselves all the time. What they don’t do is talk to men about it."
That last sentence is the key here: women talk about these issues, but they tend to talk to each other. While more and more people in leadership positions are trying to change how people understand communication and work dynamics, it doesn't help if men aren't given the tools they need or an understanding of the data beyond what they can dismiss as anecdotal stories about workplace dynamics.
In this book, the author pulls together loads of data from recent studies, as well as personal stories from both men and women. By writing about this topic in this way, you gain a better understanding of the why behind dynamics --- and not just a "do this, not that."
I enjoyed this book, even as I was nodding my head at a lot of things. It was interesting to read explanations of behavior and also consider some solutions. However, my one takeaway from this book was: men need to read it. And actually read it, think about it, and then about it with women. Otherwise, some of the frustrating patterns in workplace communications will continue without change.
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