If He Had Been With Me

If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin, 330 pages

Have you ever just... gone into the bathroom and punched yourself in the chest 330 times? No? Well... me either, but I'm pretty sure I know what that feels like now. But this is a positive review! And I promise I'm not a masochist!

Almost from the title alone, you can tell where this book is headed. I feel like I can only diminish it by going into too much detail. Instead, I'll say this: while the story is simple, the writing is superb. Being able to sneak incredible insight (almost unnoticed) into scenes that feel perfectly real is a rare skill, and Nowlin does it flawlessly on many occasions here.

There's a four-page chapter almost squarely in the middle of the book that perfectly encapsulates not only what the book is about, but also why it's great. As much as I'd like to block quote all four pages, I'll just say "sometimes sad things are beautiful." This story is an experience that is often difficult to push through - for the most part, I read it in small pieces - but is worth the struggle.

It should be stated that this book fails the Bechdel test about as badly as it is possible to fail. But in a story about obsessive unrequited introvert love, it's understandable.

This would never be a novel I could recommend to everyone. But if you're wearing a breastplate, then you might be okay.